By Betsy Leatherman
My husband and I have an arrangement that’s become increasingly common in the U.S.: I work outside the home, and he manages the home front, taking on the brunt of domestic and childcare duties. We’re in good company: Some 30% of married women out-earned their husbands, according to pre-pandemic statistics. When you factor in single mother-headed households, the share of female high earners climbs even higher: More than four in 10 working mothers have been their family’s sole or primary source of income.
But when you look at how much of corporate America functions, you’ll find that companies just aren’t doing enough to account for this reality. And the pandemic only made it worse, with too many organizations failing to adequately support female heads of households at such a challenging time. Frustrated, stressed and overwhelmed, some women quit their jobs despite their roles as primary providers, becoming among the nearly 1.8 million women who opted out of the workforce during the pandemic.
The good news? It’s never too late for businesses to improve ineffective, outdated working methods. Here are three steps leaders and companies can take to help women thrive in their careers as they support their families.
Recognize and respect boundaries
Even if a breadwinning woman has a spouse who shoulders much of the domestic load, that doesn’t mean she’s available for calls at any time of the day or night. For instance, it’s become increasingly understood that in families with children, regardless of the primary source of income, both parents want to spend time with and do things for their kids, whether cooking breakfast or walking them home from school. Sometimes certain things are best-taken care of by one parent or the other, depending on their skills or talents. I’m the go-to person in my house for Spanish homework help — I speak the language; my husband doesn’t. When my kids needed to be homeschooled in Spanish during the early days of the pandemic, I took time out of my day to help them conjugate their verbs.
I’m fortunate that my company gave me the flexibility to do that. Too many don’t. In fact, the new work-from-home model has, in some cases, raised expectations for employees to be more accessible for business meetings and calls, even on weekends. I’ve heard of older male leaders with grown children scheduling calls for Saturday mornings, much to the consternation of their female colleagues who had plans to attend gymnastics meets or baseball games during those times.
Of course, companies and managers can’t define what times are off-limits for breadwinning women and employees in general. It can be different for everyone. Here’s a solution: Before you assume, just ask. And when you learn a specific time of day is going to be problematic regularly — say, 8 a.m. is reserved for walking the dog, or 3:30 p.m. is school pick-up time — make a point of accommodating such schedule constraints as often as possible.
Champion professional development
Managers invested in the continued growth of their staff — and by extension, their company — understand the significance of professional development. But corporate America, historically, has an abysmal track record of genuinely giving women, especially leaders and high-earners, what they need.
Many driven female employees feel pressure to overachieve in every aspect of their personal and professional lives. These women need programs that offer guidance on everything from how to avoid burnout to a more productive approach to learning from mistakes — in other words, how to stop beating themselves up. Such programs should include mindset and skills training, with direction on shifting from a reactive to a proactive orientation in their work. When female leaders integrate what they learn into their management styles, they’ll be in a better position to flourish, which will, in turn, pay major dividends for their companies.
Establish meaningful connections
This is the easiest step but is all too often overlooked: Take time to get to know your colleagues — and show you care. As managers, in our focus on getting right down to business, we sometimes fail to see the inherent humanity in those we engage with every day. But in stressful times — and let’s face it when are times not stressful for high-achieving female high-earners? — taking just a few minutes to engage in meaningful conversation about something other than work can make all the difference.
For example, before any video call or business meeting starts, my boss never fails to first ask me about my boys. He does so because he recognizes that my family is the most important thing in my world and central to my well-being. On the surface, this act of acknowledgment may seem inconsequential, but these icebreakers make me feel seen and respected. It cements my appreciation for him and my entire organization. It makes me want to work that much harder. Leaders who make such small but powerful gestures can build trust with their employees, raise morale and create a healthier work environment.
The steps I’ve outlined can go a long way in supporting all employees, regardless of gender or breadwinning status. But they’ll be especially helpful in improving the professional and psychological well-being of the women who are the primary or sole earners in their homes. So many have had to scale countless hurdles to attain their current positions. Going forward, let’s make it easier for them to succeed.
